


Cultural Shock

by stravaganza



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Comedy of Errors, Courtship, Cultural Differences, Dwarf Courting, Dwarf Culture & Customs, Fluff, Hobbit Courting, Hobbit Culture, M/M, Misunderstandings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-21
Updated: 2012-12-21
Packaged: 2017-11-21 22:04:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/602558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stravaganza/pseuds/stravaganza
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fill for The Hobbit Kink Meme: "Basically Bilbo trying to be nice and friendly while the Dwarves see it as Bilbo courting them."<br/>Enjoy!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cultural Shock

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Русский available: [Культурный шок](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1576526) by [ho_ra](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ho_ra/pseuds/ho_ra)



It was Balin who made him notice, or rather understand, really, why every single Dwarf had started acting so strangely around him in the last weeks. Bilbo was shocked to know that in their opinion he had been _flirting_ with everyone. And that was absurd, because Bilbo was sure he had never flirted with _anyone_ in his whole life.

Even thinking back of it, the Hobbit didn’t think he had made anything wrong at all! Nothing that could have him considered an easy one, at least. But again, that was by Hobbit standards. He was appalled when he discovered that among Dwarves nearly any act of kindness made outside of a battle was seen as courtship, no matter your gender.

He didn’t think he had courted Bofur,

(“Wait, Master Bofur!”

“What is it, Mister Baggins?”

“Oh, nothing, just, your hat is a bit torn here… Let me fix it for you,” he had simply said, and done so, not waiting for permission. He had been very quick, too, and then he had replaced the hat on Bofur’s head after he had stared at him work. “Here, now it’s alright!” Bilbo had said in satisfaction, unaware of the Dwarf’s stare on his face as he straightened the hat.)

nor Bombur,

(“Here, have a bit more of bread,” he had said, giving an extra slice to the Dwarf, knowing he was the one who most longed for a nice meal after himself. No wonder now that he had looked back at him as if he had said he wanted to fight an Orc barehanded!)

nor Gloin,

(“Let me take these leaves out of your beard… You should be more careful with it when you look for wood in the forest!” Maybe that’s why he had mumbled something about being married with an indignant tone?)

nor Dwalin,

(“Wait, Master Dwalin, you’re hurt! Put this on your wound,” he had said as he handed the tall Dwarf a piece of his thorn, otherwise useless waistcoat.)

nor with Fili or Kili,

(“Fili, let me help you carry those logs!”

“Don’t worry, Master Baggins, I can manage!”

“Then perhaps I could do part of Kili’s guard shift? You must be tired, and I can’t chuck wood like you two, I’m not as strong!”

And they probably thought he was flirting with both of them – how absurd!)

What opinion would these Dwarves have of him, now? The only ones who said nothing were Oin, - who never heard what he said to him - Bifur, - who he was scared of - Ori, Nori and Dori, - that were very kind souls themselves - and Balin - who was smart enough to tell he wasn’t doing it on purpose.

And then of cours- Bilbo paled at the thought of Thorin, and what the King could be thinking of him. Then he flushed deeply as he remembered that one and only time he had tried being kind to him.

(“Master Oakenshield, I can sharpen your axe if you like?”

“Of course you can, little one.”

No wonder he had smiled at him _like that_ and his eyes seemed to glisten as he handed his weapon!)

That’s when Bilbo decided he wouldn’t be gentle anymore – it was easier than explaining, anyway. Until most of the Dwarves started being kind to _him_.

Nothing special, really. Nothing strange nor wrong with Thorin asking if he could sharpen his sword in turn.

Nor with Bofur making a hat for him with the fur of a hare he had caught, just so his pointy ears wouldn’t grow cold on the mountains.

Nor with Dwalin offering his coat on a particularly cold night.

Nor with Fili and Kili offering different types of flowers, asking which one he liked best so they could fetch him some more (he had left them arguing about which Dwarf Bilbo preferred).

Finally, before the usual round of stories around the fire, he had to explain to the rest of the Company that kindness was something else entirely for Hobbits, yes something you do when you like a person, no not just when you are propositioning them. He was just trying to be useful!

Many seemed disappointed, a few– included Gandalf, of course – were amused even, but what shocked Bilbo the most was a heavy hand resting on his shoulder and Thorin’s voice, deadly serious, deep and silky, beside his ear:

“I’ll still sharpen your sword.”

**Author's Note:**

> Please, consider buying me a coffee on [my ko-fi page](http://ko-fi.com/stravaganza)! I'd really appreciate your support!


End file.
